How to level up your game: listen to understand

Recommendation #1 out of 3 to start the Year

Beginning of the Year, New Resolutions, New Targets - you wished, they – your targets - usually come much later in Q1 if not in Q2 – so let's crack this year in the best manner. Here are three recommendations to level up your negotiation skills. We will tackle them one by one, in different articles, not only to build the suspense, but also because we have the attention span of a goldfish and few of you already told me (thank you very much for the feedback, please keep sending them across) that some of my articles were too long.

Three recommendations then. And here they are:

• Listen to understand, not to respond.

• Limit the usage of the first person "I" in your discussion.

• Don't use closed-ended questions, and if you do, seek a "No" not a "Yes."

Listen to understand. Not to respond. Obvious, is it not? Simple even. But you will be surprised. Tell me, in your private life, don't you know someone who will ask you a question such as "what did you do during your weekend" not because they care but because they are dying for you to ask them the same question so they can tell you everything about what they have done?

The main reason why you are having a discussion (not a monologue, a dis-cu-ssion) with your customer is to understand his problem. And in some cases, to help him realize that his problem is much bigger than he thought.

Because you are a professional and you do this daily, you would have most probably heard the story already. It might even be written in the playbook given by your organization. The natural tendency is therefore to intervene. But even if it sounds familiar, "STFU"! Listen and keep asking questions. There are a variety of question types you can ask. We will address this later. Don't miss the opportunity of learning something new because you interrupted him by talking. If you must intervene, it is only to ask additional questions. Your job, especially in the discovery phase, is to be an active listener. You don't play the main character of the story here: your customer does.

If you let your customer do the talking – while guiding him with your questions – you will be in a much better position later to find arguments to build your value proposition. The job would be easy: your customer will have given you all his pain points. And since within your customer's organization, you will have to meet several people, at the end you might get a good 360-degree view of the problem.

The stereotype of a salesperson is a talkative person, someone who can sell sand to Bedouins (here fyi) or a refrigerator to Eskimos. But you don't succeed, repeatedly, by forcing your way in. In BtoB, and especially for complex solutions, you want to build a long-lasting relationship. The customer has to buy your solution, not you to sell it. To do that the more actively silent and patient you will be, the more floor you give to your customers to express themselves, the easier it will be for you. If you do this properly, when it is time to summarize the situation, you should get a "that is right" from your customer. Those three words are the signal that you are looking for. Those three words mean that the customer feels understood.

You could most probably have saved an hour or more by telling your customer (shortcut), based on your experience, what he just told you. It is not what you want. It will be more compelling if it comes from your customer. What you care here is not the destination (result), but the journey: how did you get to the result.

So the first recommendation for this new 2024 chapter: Listen to understand, not to respond. In other words, be an active listener, not a continuous talker.

Wishing you a great new Year.