The C-Suite Skill They Don't Teach in Sales Training
Few minutes into my pitch to the C-suite, I could feel the room slipping away. The CFO was checking her phone. The CEO's body language screamed skepticism. My slides were solid, my ROI calculations flawless - but I was losing them.
Then I did something that changed everything: I stopped talking and asked, "What am I missing here?" The silence that followed wasn't awkward - it was revealing. The CFO looked up. The CEO leaned forward. And in that moment, I learned that technical competence gets you in the room, but social intelligence gets you the deal.
“Not all social skills are created equal. Charisma isn’t one thing—it’s 14 flavors.”
— Vanessa Van Edwards, Science of People (YouTube, May 2025)
Behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards breaks charisma into 14 distinct social skills. Each of us has a top three - your superpowers - and a bottom three - your growth zones. The aim isn’t perfection; it’s clarity.
The 14 Social Intelligence Skills
Self‑Awareness & Emotional Control
Emotional Regulation – Stay calm when deals unravel and meetings go sideways.
Self‑Awareness – Know how you show up and adjust without losing authenticity.
Managing Triggers – Spot emotional hot buttons and choose your response.
Humility – Ask, learn, and let others shine; ego kills trust.
Communication Mastery
Active Listening – Absorb, paraphrase, and respond so people feel heard.
Mirroring & Matching – Build rapport through subtle tone, pace, and posture cues.
Nonverbal Sensitivity – Read the micro‑expressions, pauses, and posture shifts that say more than words.
Clear & Concise Speaking – Be brief, be bright, be gone—without being blunt.
Relational Intelligence
Empathy – Feel with people, not just for them; it's the foundation of influence.
Perspective‑Taking – Map the politics, pressures, and incentives around the table.
Conflict Navigation – Keep disagreements from becoming bruises; stay firm on goals, flexible on paths.
Timing & Tact – Say the right thing and say it at the right moment.
Strategic Interaction
Boundary Setting – Be helpful without becoming a doormat; say no diplomatically.
Influence Without Authority – Lead people you don't manage through trust and credibility, not rank.
Superpowers vs. Growth Zones
Most B2B professionals naturally excel in a few areas - your superpowers:
Perspective-Taking – You map the buying committee’s motivations instinctively.
Clear & Concise Speaking – Your presentations land with precision.
Empathy – You feel the pain points before customers finish describing them.
Influence Without Authority – You rally support across departments you don’t control.
Then there are the growth zones - where deliberate practice is key:
Active Listening – You're already formulating your response while they're still talking.
Emotional Regulation – When deals stall, your frustration shows.
Boundary Setting – “Yes” comes too easily; scope creep follows.
Timing & Tact – Great insights, but delivered at the wrong moment.
Mastery vs. Humanity
Emotions are human—mastery is optional, yet powerful. Your edge begins with knowing when to feel and when to lead.
That’s the real work: staying human and intentional. Mastering your reactions in a high-stakes negotiation—or at your child’s school meeting—starts with understanding which social levers you naturally pull and which ones require training.
Why It Matters in B2B
Complex Sales Require Complex Listening. A well-timed pause can surface the real objection faster than any ROI slide.
Trust Travels Faster Through People Than Through Decks. A display of empathy or perspective-taking can accelerate a buying committee in ways a feature list never will.
Emotional Control Converts Under Pressure. Your calm, not just your case, often wins the renewal—or the next big logo.
Take Action
Rate Yourself on the 14 Skills. Pin down your top and bottom three.
Double Down on Strength. Strong at perspective-taking? Use it to enhance influence.
Design a Drill for Weakness. Struggle with listening? Try a 60-second no-interruption rule.
Cross-Train. Pair a strong skill (e.g., decoding) to reinforce a weak one (e.g., timing).
Reassess Quarterly. Skills evolve - keep the scoreboard current.
Final Thought
Your brand as a sales professional isn’t forged only in quotas and dashboards - it’s shaped in conversations, introductions, and the silent moments in between. Know your mix. Train it with intent. And watch every number that matters move in the right direction.
Source
Van Edwards, V. (2022). Social Skills Everyone Should Know [Video]. Science of People.